De-blog

... although I am not sure yet. Please take note that this is an honest account of my experience and sometimes the truth is harsh. It has been almost two months since I found a small lump in my right breast, and less than an hour ago it was confirmed as being a polyp, not malignant and, as it was removed two weeks ago, no longer a threat to my physical and mental wellbeing. I left the clinic, used the loo, left the hospital, turned my mobile 'phone back on whilst observing the beauty of a drift of bluebells in the hospital grounds and returned to my car, all the time thinking to myself "If I can just get out of this room, this hospital, get to my car, get home, then I will let the relief hit me." This has yet to happen and so here I am, writing what Nige said I should have written from the beginning. Perhaps I simply need to metaphorically 'get it off my chest' too. It began on a Sunday evening. I was sitting in bed and found the small lump during something vaguel...

If I had just one wish That wish would ever have to be To break free of these shackles Locked by no-one else but me Through words etched without paper That time let slip away For the soliloquy to be mine I'd wish for every day High seas seek a wreckage White lines of vengeful tide The deep blue penetrates and still Dilutes nothing inside Long sought dreams I'd memorise Even with the chance I’d step aside Still haunted by the phantoms and their sighs No ship heard when I cried To be cast to the open sea Is all that I have craved Or settle to this cell of mine For either way I'm saved Forget-me-nots still glisten In every morning due I wish for nothing yet for all Though all is nothing true

It's Sunday morning! That's excellent news if dull skies and musty churches are your idea of fun; I did find myself momentarily wishing for rain this morning, as it's also mid-October and the privet needs one last haircut. I won't be going to church either, but that's another story for another day. So there I was sitting in the thinking room, and it came to me that had I ever aspired to be a more domesticated type, I could spend today cooking meals to fill the freezer. Unfortunately I have never been that person and so the freezer is safe. However, it did get me thinking that I might share some recipe ideas with the world. I know it's perhaps not what any previous visitors to this weblog might expect, and I could no doubt produce an acidic and lengthy commentary on a bit of a battle Nige has had with the organisers of PodcastCon UK 2006 over the past couple of weeks. In brief, for the sake of consistency, I will say this: it has been apparent for quite some time...

I said to my friend Paul one night when his PC died that he should take a hint from the name of his OS - open the nearest window and launch his PC as far as possible through it. A few weeks later when his replacement computer arrived he still managed to find it funny. OK, so I use a Mac, well actually quite a few Macs, but I am not a Mac evangelist: my sister and bro-in-law bought me an 'iLove' t-shirt for my birthday and I debated with myself whether I was a member of the ludicrously small global Apple lovefest in denial or if it's just that I hate Microsoft more. I've wasted this entire evening uninstalling and reinstalling Virtual PC and Windows to test webpages, so I'm pretty sure which it is. All I want is a reliable machine that doesn't try and (wrongly) second guess my every move. The same applies to the software - I'll be busy typing in MS Word and all of a sudden a bullet point will be indented further than all the rest. Just one bullet! Intuitive? ...

First up, I hate the word 'blog' - it's a nonsense word, and 'weblog' will do nicely. More later!